Top 10 Things that Scare Me
A Larry Page Classic
- Ferris wheels
I must have cried/pissed in my pants about half a dozen times when I was a little kid. Ferris wheels are the work of the devil.
- The laughing baby-headed sun on the Teletubbies
Have you seen this thing? A giggling sun created by a giant yellow severed baby head. In the seeming eternity it take for it to creep up onto the screen, I expect its eye to start bleeding or something.
- Sanitary napkins
I have gone grocery shopping before and have had to pick up a box for a female member of the family. Maybe it seems silly and immature to be embarrassed. But you have to understand, I don't even like carrying around my birth control pills.
- Christian extremists
[this entry has been censored by God]
Every day I witness zombie-like suburbanites as they gather at to bow down to the Walton family.
I guess most weapons kinda scare me.. except guns. Guns are cool. He he. Guns. Geez, I love them so much.
- Antique dolls
Child's Play didn't scare me but antique dolls do. I think it is because they are old. Old people scare me too. But that's because they smell like rotting flesh.
- Reba McEntire
What? You like them?
- The popularity of Jerry Springer
I dunno why so many people watch it. I mean when I want to see people fight all I do is make up lies about my friends.
- Slugs and poison ivy
I see them and I have an immediate fear that there is something on me. I feel dirty, like a drunk prostitute chewing on a used condom.
This is static list. It will never change. If I decide to make another list on the same topic, this list will be catalogued. Created: Circa 1998