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Top 10 Things I Don't Want in my Possession
A Larry Page Classic
(circa 1998)

  1. Spare change
    I guess I am one of those people who makes sure that they never have more than four pennies. Anyway, whenever I have extra change I spend it all on vending machines and that's bad for my tummy.
  2. Other People's Babies
    Remember that English au pair. I don't think I'm capable of shaking a baby to death but I am known to throw things once in a while. Especially if they cry.
  3. Sanitary napkins
    I have gone grocery shopping before and have had to pick up a box for a female member of the family. Maybe it seems silly and immature to be embarrassed. But you have to understand, I don't even like carrying around my birth control pills.
  4. Alcohol/Drugs
    I'm still 19. I'm paranoid enough that they'll get me for running a casino in my basement.
  5. Guns
    If I have my gun with me then everyone will want to play with it. There was that one funny time when I let young Bobby play with it. It was so cute when he figured out how to pull that trigger. Oh Bobby was so cute.
  6. Chewing Gum
    "Sure you can have a piece? You too, why not.. I have 3 sticks left. Okay, we'll split the last piece then..."
  7. Credit Cards
    I am relatively responsible with my credit cards. Though I don't think am I so responsible when I steal others'.
  8. Water
    Once, I went to Central America and all these people were begging for a sip of my water. And I'm like, does it look like I have a sign on my forehead saying "I'm here to save your life"?
  9. Lost dogs
    If I saw a dog walking around lost in the street. I wouldn't pick it up. They're just so dirty. Uck. Who knows what kind of diseased household they could have wondered out of.
  10. Old pictures from Elementary School
    I'm a pretty good sport about people giggling at my geeky pictures of pre-adolescence. Yeah , I'm used to being laughed at. It wasn't tramatic enough that I was laughed at then. Oh, yeah.. ha, ha.. keep laughing... my childhood's a big joke ain't it.. keep laughing you m*therf***er!
This is static list. It will never change. If I decide to make another list on the same topic, this list will be catalogued. Created: August 2002